• Start signing to your child as a baby. You can start as early as six months. Once they sign and understand some basic words such as “more,” “eat,” and “all done,” then introduce “please,” “thank you” and “share.” You can start teaching first word signs as early as six months of age.

• Use every opportunity to teach the importance of being well-mannered. With most young kids eating three meals and two snacks by 12-months of age, there will be plenty of practice.

• Say and sign “please” and “thank you” when talking to others in your world – your husband, relatives, friends, etc. – so your children will witness and value what you’re teaching them. Ask caregivers to join in as well.

• Praise, practice and patience.

By Lindy Bartell, president of Smarty Parents, Inc., the maker of the award-winning Piggy Platter placemat & craftmat and the creator of Perry & Penny’s manners-minded books and music. Sign language information brought to you by Sign Babies. This article may only be used with the expressed written permission of the author.

It’s never too early for a “smarty parent” to teach little ones good manners. For example, even kids who cannot yet speak can learn to communicate by signing words with their hands. Learning to share is a life-long lesson for all of us, but especially during the tender ages between two and four. Greeting others warmly is a trait that many youngsters can manage when encouraged on a regular basis. Like all aspects in parenting, teaching manners is never easy. But here are a few of our tried and true tips for sticking with it and being successful.

• Begin with two or three niceties such as “please,” “thank you” and “excuse me” and then introduce more as your child begins to grasp their understanding. Children who cannot speak yet are still able to these niceties by learning a little sign language. For example, when you say “please,” make the sign for it at the same time. This reinforces the sign and the verbal word while giving your preverbal child a way to communicate back. As you repeat this often, your child will pick up the sign and begin to sign “please” when she asks for something.

Note: the benefits of teaching your children sign language are immense (click here for more informaton). You can start as early as 6-12 months to teach your child simple words like “milk,” “eat,” “more,” and “all done.” Another advantage of teaching sign language is being able to non-verbally remind your child to say “please” and “thank you” from across the room once they’re able to talk.

• Be persistent and consistent. This means once you introduce manners, stick with it and rehearse the trait several times a day. Make it a new part of everyone’s behavior. It may take time, but young ones are so smart and will get it. The rewards of teaching manners early in life will give dividends long after they’re out of the house (Yikes! We don’t want to think about that yet!)

• Model the behavior and language you desire in your child. Children make us better people because they mirror the way we act. Before we had kids, my husband and I rarely said “yes, please” or “no, thank you” to one another, but we do now because we want our children to model this behavior.

• Provide plenty of positive feedback when they’re signing their words or demonstrating self-control such as waiting in line patiently or helping a friend put away toys to let them know how polite and thoughtful their actions are to others.

Have fun with it and remember that teaching manners is often the first step in getting young ones to think beyond themselves. Some families have “anti-manners” dinners where all rules are thrown out the door, have sticker charts to reinforce positive behavior or a “manners” month for those who may need a refresher. It won’t happen overnight, but when you see them in action, you’ll be so proud. It’s not uncommon to first see the fruits of your labor when you’re out of the house, around others, or visiting Grandma and Grandpa.

By Lindy Bartell, president of Smarty Parents, Inc., the maker of the award-winning Piggy Platter placemat & craftmat and the creator of Perry & Penny’s manners-minded books and music. Sign language information brought to you by Sign Babies. This article may only be used with the expressed written permission of the author.

Whether it’s at the table, in the store, or at a friends house, we want to get beyond theory and share some real tactics that have worked for us or our friends.

Please share your thoughts and ideas and what’s worked for you! Or if you have a great resource, let’s showcase that too. Send your tips to clever@smartyparents.com and we’ll post them here!

TOP TIP:

Consistency and follow-through: No matter what the situation, we’ve learned it’s important to follow through on our promises and threats. So while there may be protest and tears on the front end, there will be kids who learn quickly and people enjoy on the back end!

Plate/Spoon/Food-Tossing: We subscribe to the theorty that if a child wants to toss it or play with it, they don’t want to eat it. We remove the offending object (the food, fork, etc.), which often means protest and opportunity for further discussion and behavior change. If it persists, then we remove it for that mealtime and they are finished eating at the table. We’ve only needed to do this a couple times before they get the picture.

Crying or screaming at the table: Now that our toddler boys have the capacity to reason a bit, screaming in protest at the table is no longer acceptable. Meal time, especially dinner, is family time. And we want to enjoy each other’s company. Freaking out about something isn’t called for and, in our house, means a “time out” in the bathroom or mud room. (i.e. away from the rest of us.) We’ve been amazed how quickly our boys want to return to the table to “be nice and sweet.”

Sharing: If our boys are not sharing a toy, we ask them to consider trading or set the timer for a short time (2-5 minutes) and then give the treasure to their playmate or sibling. We find that they usually hand off the toy before the timer goes off.

Greeting others: Since our boys were young, we have encouraged them to say hello and good-bye to people who we’re around when arriving or leaving an event, whether in the grocery store, at the library, at church, etc. Before arriving someplace where we’d expect new meet new people (say at a wedding or out to dinner with friends), we’d talk to them about who they were going to meet to prepare them and encourage them not to be shy. Now that they’re older, we continue to expect them to warmly greet others and even shake a new friend’s hand.